I forgive you

When I was in college, my first boyfriend who had gone to another school, cheated on me (with a cute Asian girl!) and got her pregnant. My first painful breakup.

A few years following, I was just lonely and felt worthless. I went to parties and even had a few one-night-stands. When I met my husband, I thought he was cute, mature, very different from other boys. He wasn’t a good student though, and his family wasn’t rich, in fact he didn’t even have a family. I thought he was below me. I still decided to date him until I found someone better.

Well, I didn’t find anyone better. I then got married to him and had children. My belief that I’m better than him never went away. After all, I’m the one going to med school and he’s the one staying at home - how else am I supposed to feel?

I was wrong.

He actually is a capable man with lots of love. In fact, he knows about love so much better than I did.

He didn’t need any of my help. In fact, he’s managed to go to college even when he hadn’t graduated from high school and he didn’t have any money.

He is smart. He helped me pivot my career path. He helped me see medicine is the path for me even when I didn’t believe it. He believed in my abilities and supported me.

He made so many smart financial decisions for us. In fact, when I was only looking at brand-new overpriced homes, he encouraged us to buy this home which had a great value and built so much equity since then.

He raised our children to be smart, hardworking, caring, beautiful women. Our children are capable because of the lessons he taught them. They are also resilient and grounded because of the love and safety he’s provided them.

I am sorry. I was very wrong. I sincerely apologize for being disrespectful to my husband for 20+ years.

I forgive you, Yuki.

You are a mere mortal woman. You made a mistake and you admit it. You didn’t know the truth. Now you know.

Now you can be respectful to your husband.

I forgive you.