Why do I want to justify my actions when I’m trying to apologize?

I promised you that we will come back to this topic. Why is it so hard to keep my mouth shut, when I’m trying to make an apology?

So I did XYZ, I know that was wrong.

I’m now trying to apologize.

“I’m sorry I did XYZ,”

“…. but I didn’t mean to disrespect you”

“…. but this is because I care about you”

“…. but I was trying to help you”

Why do I want to add these “buts”?

It’s because I want to be known that I’m not a bad person!

It’s because I want you to know that I have your best interest at heart!"

It’s because I thought about it a lot, and thought this is the best course of action!

What am I saying?

I am desperately saying,

I AM JUST TRYING MY BEST!!! Damn it!

Please someone, acknowledge ME!!!!!!!!!!! ME!!!!!! Please, ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Please say, that I’m doing a good job!

Do you hear that?

I acknowledge you. You’re working hard. I recognize you. You care so much and you want to do the best you can.

I am sending you the virtual hug.

I have a solution for this challenge, when you desperately want acknowledgement and recognition.

There is one person who can give you what you’re desperately craving.

Your parents? - No.

Your spouse? - No.

Your friend? - No.

Your child? - No.

Your pet? - No. (Probably)

It is the only person that you can control.

YOU.

That’s right.

You can give yourself the acknowledgement you’re craving.

You can give yourself the compassion you’re missing.

You can give yourself a hug you’re desperate for.

You can give yourself a pat on the shoulder and say “You’re doing a great job.”

This is called self-compassion.

I invite you to give yourself what you need at least once daily.